No One Else Not Ever Again I Wish That I Could Do It Again Turning Back the Time Lyrics
Beloved songs are where we get our passion, our soul — and most of our worst ideas.
Nothing proficient tin come of this. Photo by Achim Voss/Flickr.
Throughout homo history, oceans have been crossed, mountains have been scaled, and great families have blossomed — all because of a few simple chords and a tune that inflamed a heart and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission.
On the other hand, that time you told that daughter you merely started seeing that you would "catch a grenade" for her? You lot did that considering of a beloved song. And it wasn't exactly a coincidence that she suddenly decided to "lose your number" and move back to Milwaukee to "figure some stuff out."
"It'due south just, my mom. Yous know? And 50.A. is so hot in the summer. And yeah, my mom." Photo via iStock.
That time you held that smash box over your caput outside your ex's house? You lot did that because of a dear vocal. And 50 hours of community service subsequently, you're still not dorsum together.
Love songs are nifty. They brand our hearts beat faster. They inspire us to take risks and put our feelings on the line. And they requite us terrible, terrible ideas about how actual, real-life human relationships should work.
They're amazing. So amazing. And too terrible.
Here are six love songs that audio romantic only aren't, and ane song that doesn't sound romantic but totally is:
ane. "God Just Knows," by The Beach Boys
You lot can proceed your "Surfin' Safaris," your "I Become Arounds," and your "Help me Rhondas."
When it comes to The Beach Boys, "God Only Knows" is where it's at. A lush garden of soft horns and informal tune. A tie-dye swirl of sound. A landscape of haunted innocence with some of the about heartrending lyrics ever committed to the back of a surfboard.
Youth! Youth! Youth! Photograph by Hulton Archive/Getty Images.
Hither's why it sounds romantic:
I may not ever love y'all
But long equally there are stars above yous
You never demand to doubt information technology
I'll make you so sure near it
God only knows what I'd be without you
If you lot're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your beloved and non playing "God Only Knows" on your iPod, you should really cease and start over.
If y'all're lazily bumping a beach ball over a volleyball net and "God Only Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the dorsum of your mind, you need to rethink the choices that got you to this point.
If you lot're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and you're not underscoring information technology with the opening chords of "God Just Knows," you are doing it wrong.
Hippies, likely on their way to a mud frolic. Photo past Colin Davey/Getty Images.
Information technology's a song that just feels similar dear. Pure love. Young dear. Love with a chill, kelp-y vibe.
What could exist incorrect with that?
Here's why it'southward actually really, really unromantic:
There'southward aught wrong with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-top notes in their P.O. boxes. Stroking their hair every bit they fall asleep while you whisper the consummate works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear.
"Miles Ryan stood on the dorsum porch of his house, smoking a cigarette..." Photo by hatchettebookgroup.biz.
But there is such a thing as loving someone a skosh also much.
If you should ever leave me
Though life would still proceed believe me
The earth could show nil to me
So what proficient would living do me?
Look, I become it. Breakups suck. At that place's no getting around that. But expert God.
There's a huge departure between maxim: "Hey infant, you are my commencement and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if y'all become." And saying: "Welp, you accepted that chore in Seattle, so I'g just gonna chug a bunch of nightshade and telephone call it a life."
But that'southward pretty much the gist here. Which makes this line...
God merely knows what I'd exist without you
...horror-picture show creepy. Because the answer, apparently, is: "I'd be a corpse!"
Ah well. We had a good run. Photograph via iStock.
That's not dear. That's codependency (to put it mildly). Oh, and hey! Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. Information technology's a class of emotional abuse.
Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in any relationship — one that, past definition, might one day terminate — is putting a lot of eggs in one basket. Certain, God may simply know what you'd be without her, but God probably too hopes you have, I don't know, some hobbies. Take a yoga class. Google some woodworking videos. Endeavour kite surfing.
"Yeah! Hell aye! What was her name once again?" Photo by Jim Semlor/Federal Highway Administration.
1 person cannot exist anyone's be-all and end-all. It's too stressful. And it prevents you from doing you, which is a matter that's gotta be done before yous can do anything else.
No wonder she took that job in Seattle.
2. "Treasure," by Bruno Mars
Sure, it'southward a blatant rip off of every Michael Jackson song yous've e'er heard. But, we don't take Michael Jackson anymore, and as tribute acts go, you could do a lot worse than Bruno Mars.
Look at that face. That face! Photo by Brothers Le/Flickr.
Here'southward why the song sounds romantic:
Treasure, that is what you are
Honey, you're my gilt star
You know yous can make my wish come true
If yous let me treasure you
If y'all let me treasure yous
Pass those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an eighth-form brand-out party and yous'll likely get an instant toll laissez passer on the highway to tongue-town (ew).
Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, date nighttime is going to culminate in 47 minutes of chaste-yet-passionate frenching.
Pass them to a cop who pulls y'all over for running a stop sign, and they will think you lot're weird — simply probably still make out with you.
In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime pass to brand out with America considering of this vocal.
This is what happens when you write "Treasure" and you lot're on stage with Michelle Obama. Photo by Mandel Ngan/Getty Images.
And I'm OK with that.
But, here'due south why "Treasure" isn't every bit romantic every bit it seems:
Everything virtually "Treasure" is retro. Everything.
Including its attitudes nigh gender.
"Children, have I e'er told you what I shouted at your mother on the street the get-go time nosotros met?" Photo by Jacobsen/Getty Images.
Things get-go to go s right from the very commencement:
Requite me your, give me your, give me your attention, baby
I gotta tell you a little something nigh yourself
Ah yes. Nothing screams "respect" quite similar a man lecturing a strange woman on the street nearly something she "doesn't know about herself."
What could it be? Could information technology be that her jokes are funny? Could it exist that she's got something in her teeth? Could it be that her nonfiction volume virtually early modernistic High german history is extremely detailed and informative?
"Thanks for teaching me all about Martin Luther's bible!" Photograph by Torsten Schleese/Wikimedia Commons.
Spoiler Alert: Information technology'southward none of those.
You're wonderful, flawless, ooh, you're a sexy lady
But you lot walk effectually hither similar y'all wanna exist someone else
Oh. It'south that she's sexy. Cool, bro. Very original.
Give-and-take of advice? Regardless of how she's walking, the lady knows she'southward sexy. Fifty-fifty if she doesn't, it really doesn't touch on her day-to-day and so much that you, a complete stranger, need to shout it at her (even over a funky disco snare).
So what if she does want to be someone else? I'd love to be someone else! I think existence Ryan Gosling would exist quite nice. A skillful style to spend a three-twenty-four hours weekend.
Sure, at that place'd be an adjustment period... Photo by Eamonn M. McCormack/Getty Images.
And then later, of course, the narrator can't assist himself:
Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl, you should be smiling
A girl similar you should never look so bluish.
He respects her so much, he's actually straight-upward telling her to smile! Much like Mars' character "Uptown Funk," who appears to get off on angrily exhorting girls to "striking [their] hallelujah." Which, you know, I approximate everybody'due south got a thing.
Aye, in the world of "Treasure," a healthy relationship is an unending stream of a homo complimenting a strange woman and said woman beingness so totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sex."
He then proceeds to talk to his potential lover similar the world'south creepiest pirate:
Y'all are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yep, you, yous, you lot, y'all are
You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yep, y'all, y'all, you, you lot are
By this point, in his mind, she'due south a literal thing. An object. Which is plumbing fixtures.
I suppose it could be worse, though. At to the lowest degree she'due south not just any matter.
GIF from "The Two Towers."
That'southward ... something, right?
iii. "Don't Think Twice, Information technology's All Right," by Bob Dylan
For every bit long equally humans have been dating each other, humans take been breaking up with each other. And "Don't Retrieve Twice" is a portrait of a relationship going downwards in flames. Glorious, poetic, acoustic flames.
Bob Dylan, a guy who is skilful at writing songs that a lot of people like. Photo past William Lovelace/Getty Images.
Hither's why it sounds romantic:
Well, it ain't no utilise to sit and wonder why, baby
Even you don't know by now
And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, baby
It'll never do somehow
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window, and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'k a-traveling on
But don't call back twice, it's all right.
Smash. Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits situation like whoa.
"Don't Call up Twice" is a raw vocal. An honest song. A powerful song. Information technology's the vocal your older sister played on continuous loop for six months after her boyfriend left for college. The song that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to leave her banking concern-teller job, load her four Australian shepherds into the van, and open up a wind chinkle store in Mendocino. The vocal your friend's cool dad always wants to play when he invited your high schoolhouse band over to his apartment to jam.
"What timbre are you looking for?" Photo past Sharon Ang/Pixabay.
Sure, it's nigh the terminate of a human relationship, simply it sounds romantic. And at the end of the day, shouldn't that be enough?
Here's why information technology's really sooooo messed up:
Relationships end. For a lot of reasons. And while there is no right way to call information technology quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties can certainly benefit from a difficult, honest discussion about what went wrong.
Information technology's not me, Joan. It'southward you. 100% you lot. Photo by Rowland Scherman/Getty Images.
In "Don't Think Twice," that discussion basically boils down to: "It'southward your fault."
Allow'due south review the reasons the dude in "Don't Recall Twice" is splitting with his lady friend:
I gave her my heart, merely she wanted my soul
Ugh, women, right? You're all like, "Babe, I only accept so much unspecified love to give," and she'due south like, "Take out the trash!" And you're similar, "But baaaaaaabe, shouldn't my heart exist plenty?" And she's like, "No, seriously. I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole house, fed the canis familiaris, did the dishes, and fabricated both of our lunches for the week. All I need you to do is have out the trash." And you're like, "You're bumming me out. I'm gonna go play guitar." And then she gets all mad! What did you do? Why is she trying to change you lot? UGH!
Yous could accept done better, merely I don't listen
Yes. You practise mind! You lot mind! Yous wrote a vocal about information technology, you passive-aggressive prick.
You just kinda wasted my precious time
Ah yeah. Your time is so precious! Call back about all the hours you wasted plumbing the bounding main-deep, ecstatic mysteries of human partnership when y'all could accept been futzing around with that home-brew kit.
Aye, this was worth it. Photograph by Bill Bradford/Flickr.
The minute y'all first breaking information technology downward, the message of "Don't Think Twice" all of a sudden starts to seem a lot less romantic. Like your sister'southward ex-beau, who worked at the Bass Pro Shop in town for a while and now might exist in jail. Like your aunt'south wind chinkle store, which would accept airtight forever agone had she non received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Like your friend's absurd dad, who wasn't exactly, technically, paying child support.
"You kids want a beer? No 1'south nether 13, correct?" Photo via iStock.
Oh yeah, and the song'south narrator also signal-bare refers woman he's leaving as:
A child, I'm told
That's right. In addition to existence a run-of-the-manufacturing plant passive-aggressive jerk — turns out, he's besides possibly a pedophile.
Even if nosotros are to have that this is a metaphor and she's not actually a kid — which there's no indication it is, but OK, Bob Dylan — the fact that Commitmentphobe Gunderson here would willingly choose an immature partner reflects fashion more poorly on him than it does on her.
Breaking up with anyone in such a fell, dismissive mode is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills.
Which, I suppose, may be the point.
iv. "Leaving on a Jet Plane," past John Denver
Who has two thumbs and wrote a bloodshot folk song about hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at 600 miles per 60 minutes?
This guy. Photograph by Hughes Television set Network/Wikimedia Commons.
Here'due south why it sounds romantic:
"Leaving on a Jet Aeroplane" is a lovely song. And impressive in its loveliness considering jet planes were even so kind of new at the time it was written.
'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet airplane
To a modern ear, this would exist sort of similar singing, "I'm a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," but in a way that's somehow still folksy and heartbreaking and singable by 9-year-olds at summertime camp. Not easy to practise!
Oh babe, I hate to become
Yous run into — he hates to go! He just hates it! We know this, considering he tells us he hates information technology. And why would he detest to become if he didn't love his partner simply that much?
Come across ya! Photo by Altair78/Wikimedia Commons.
Why indeed?
Here'south why information technology's really non that romantic at all:
All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the globe tin merely distract so much from the fact that the vocal's main graphic symbol is well, kind of a jerkweed.
And in reality — surprise surprise! — it doesn't actually seem like he hates existence away all that much:
At that place'due south so many times I've permit you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a affair
"Baby, I promise! All the movies I watched lone while you were habitation nursing the quadruplets. All the times I tuckered our life savings on Zoo Zillionaire. All the random sex I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to exercise! Actually fun. Similar, I had a fantastic fourth dimension. But rest assured — completely empty, in an ontological sense."
"Every bit empty as this bed I just finished having sex with someone else in." Photo via iStock.
Yes, when you break it down, "Leaving on a Jet Aeroplane," is less of a passionate tribute to love overcoming altitude and more the deluded ramblings of a guy who needs to convince himself he'due south "good" despite all evidence to the contrary.
And for all he claims to be broken up about having to part from his one and only, the dude seems pretty excited about the flight. Oh, you're leaving on a jet plane, are you lot? Are yous Zone 1? Gonna humblebrag on Twitter about the "terrible" Cibo express salad you were forced to choke downwards as you sat waiting to embark on your fun, mysterious hazard?
"Life so difficult @ LGA #missingmybabe." Photo past Gesalbte/Wikimedia Commons.
He continues:
Ev'ry place I get, I'll think of you
Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for yous
Ah cool. He'll call up about her while strumming and making "my dearest is delicate as the morning dew" eyes at a waif-y grad student in the forepart row. That pretty much makes upward for it all.
And so he demands:
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Afterward all the betrayal and heartbreak, afterwards basically revealing himself to be a grade-A sleaze who can't be trusted, he still has the gall to tell her to wait? To await for him?
And here'south the kicker:
When I come back, I'll bring your hymeneals ring
Ah yes. He'll put a band on it. Finally.
"Ehhhhhhh...." Photo via iStock.
Unlike all the previous trips, where he'due south cheated a billion times, drained the family bank business relationship, and but been a general screwup and disappointment.
Only yeah. This time he says he'll bring back a wedding band.
I hope she joins a polyamorous octad and never looks back.
5. "When a Man Loves a Woman," Percy Sledge
When you lot expect up "soul" in the lexicon, the book plays y'all a recording of this song.
Percy Sledge, having a few thoughts. Photo by Cistron Pugh/Flickr.
Specifically, information technology plays you lot the very first line.
Here's why it sound very romantic:
When a man loves a woman
Sure, you can write the lyrics down, just it doesn't fifty-fifty come close to capturing the heartache. The yearning. The delicious, succulent pain-belting:
WHEN A Human being LOVES A WOMAN
Closer ... only still no.
WHEN A MAAAAAAAN. LOVES A WOOOMAN!
Yes! Sing it, Percy Sledge!
It'south an elemental lyric.
Information technology'south a heart-shattering lyric.
Information technology'southward a lyric that demands you put your back into it.
Information technology's perfection.
Every bit long as you don't go on listening.
Here'due south why the song is actually pretty horrifying:
From the opening lines of "When a Man Loves a Woman," we know that, at to the lowest degree on occasion, a human being loves a woman.
Which raises the question: What happens when said man loves said woman?
He'd give upwardly all his comforts
And slumber out in the rain
If she said that's the style
It ought to be.
Whoa! OK. No. Back up. A man, no thing how devoted, no thing how selfless, no affair how in love, needs shelter. Otherwise, a man will die of exposure and hypothermia.
Plow his back on his best friend if he put her down.
No! Jeez. No. A man can't put upwardly with that kind of isolating behavior. A man needs friends! Once a human being'due south whole support arrangement erodes out from nether him, a man will be bitter, ungrounded, and alone. And a man'southward mental health will deteriorate.
I gave you everything I have
Tryin' to hold on to your heartless beloved
Babe, delight don't care for me bad.
This is not what happens "when a man loves a adult female." It's what happens when a man loves a controlling, manipulative woman. An abusive adult female. A woman who, in truth, only loves a woman. Herself.
"Information technology's Chris or me." Photo past geralt/Pixabay.
And that's not healthy.
Run, Percy Sledge, run! We're hither for you.
(Side note: Lest it go implied, there is manner more than i manner for a homo to love a woman. Maybe they spend every waking moment cuddling and bopping each other on the olfactory organ. Maybe they sleep in carve up bedrooms. Possibly they apparel upward in large, costly cat costumes and refer to each other Mr. and Mrs. Kittyhawk. And when a man loves a man, I imagine it feels much the same. Or when a adult female loves a woman. Or when a gender nonconforming person loves a gender nonconforming person.)
Regardless of the depth of commitment, living situation, or combination of genders or sexual orientations, there's no one-size-fits-all honey solution. Every relationship is a unique snowflake. Variety is the spice of life. Necessity is the mother of invention. There'south more than than one way to peel a cat. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go downwards.
Information technology doesn't thing if it's the right metaphor, as long every bit it'southward a metaphor. Photograph by Rosmarie Voegtli/Flickr.
Point existence: Generalize at your peril, Sledge. And please, seek help! You can do this! And if yous ever find yourself in a similar state of affairs, please give these people a call.
6. "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to Yous," Heart
Honestly, Heart could sing a list of the virtually pop AllRecipes ("Jaaaamie'southward Cranberry Spinach Saaaaalad/Globe's All-time Lasaaaaagna/Sour Creeeeeam Cutouts") and it would make me want to bawl my optics out in the arms of a tall, dark stranger at the end of a pier.
This song is perfect. You should always be listening to it. If you lot're not listening to it at present, smack yourself in the face and Google information technology. It's just that of import.
I am singing the telephone book. You are weeping similar a tiny baby. Photo by FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons.
Then much passion. So much pain. And so much pilus.
Here's why it sounds romantic:
Over pounding drums and a soaring melody, Centre sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson deliver a primal tribute to the one true romantic fantasy shared past every living being on Earth: picking up an unnervingly attractive man for ane night of heed-bravado sex and so releasing him back into the wild to bone — only never quite equally compellingly ever again.
They sing:
It was a rainy nighttime when he came into sight
Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat
So I pulled up alongside and I offered him a ride
He accustomed with a smile so nosotros drove for a while
I don't have to go along because you lot know what happens next, and information technology's awesome.
"I but sit in this cabin. Counting the days since. Counting ... the ... days." Photo by Rene Asmussen/Pexels.
Now, hither'southward why this song is non romantic at all:
The relationship in "All I Wanna Do" seems too proficient to be truthful. And information technology is. Because it's not an equally loving ,or even every bit lusty, pairing at all.
It'due south a...
It's a...
Well. You lot know what information technology is:
Skilful at recognizing no-win situations and delicious with lemon?! Photo past Pikawil/Flickr.
For a while, things are bustling along but fine, similar any wholesome, illicit, bearding matter should:
I didn't enquire him his proper noun, this lone male child in the rain
Fate, tell me it'south right, is this love at first sight?
Sure, many of united states might hesitate to pick upwards a strange leather-jacket-clad man standing on the side of the road for a no-strings-fastened spiral, just our narrator just has a feeling about this guy, and sometimes, you lot gotta go with your gut.
I can respect that.
Nosotros made magic that night
He did everything correct
Great! Seems similar it was a good decision. Bonking the hitchhiker is payin' off big time.
Only then, without warning, the vocal starts to sound less like an all-time neat romance and more similar a story men's rights activists tell each other as they vape effectually a bivouac:
I told him "I am the flower, you are the seed
We walked in the garden, we planted a tree
Don't endeavor to notice me, delight don't you dare
Simply alive in my retentiveness, you lot'll always be at that place"
I'm not a poet. Symbolic language frequently eludes me. Merely unless "bloom," "seed," "garden," and "tree," suddenly mean wildly different things in the context of man reproduction than they have since sex was start invented in the early-1970s, we're talking most a surprise, not-mutually-consensual pregnancy!
HELLO! Photo by Avsar Aras/Wikimedia Commons.
Of grade, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc., etc., etc. You might exist tempted to think, "Mayhap Heart meant something else by that."
To that I say, no, they definitely meant it:
So it happened one day
We came round the aforementioned way
You tin can imagine his surprise
When he saw his ain optics
There are two possibilities here.
One: The narrator of the vocal is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York City subway ad from nine years agone:
Photo by eyedonation.org.
Or ii: She totally conned a dude into whipping up a baby on the sly.
I said, "Please, please understand
Ah, sure. Yeah. No worries.
I'm in dear with some other human being
Cool, so this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked not one simply two lives.
And what he couldn't give me, oh, no
Was the 1 piffling thing that yous can"
A HUMAN LIFE! A Real SENTIENT HUMAN LIFE THAT IS Not INCIDENTAL TO ALL OF THIS!
The best yous tin can say about that is that it's not technically illegal, and that leather-jacket human probably should have been responsible for his own nativity control. Or, at the very to the lowest degree, asked more questions .
But ... it's not cute. It'southward not romantic (fifty-fifty the Wilson sisters themselves hold).
And at the end of the solar day, the shadiest character in this song is somehow not the rain-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the nighttime.
Which... is saying something.
But at that place is a love song that is truly, madly, deeply perfect. An unassailable track in a ocean of problematic faves.
A song that does everything right.
A song that paints a portrait of a healthy partnership built to last.
A song that tin can double every bit a manual for the ideal homo romantic relationship.
And that vocal is...
"Processed Shop," by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia
Here's why you might exist — OK, almost definitely are — skeptical:
50 Cent (50) and that guy. You know, that guy? That guy! Photo past Ethan Miller/Getty Images.
As tricky as "Candy Shop" is, equally fun it is to dance to, and as cathartic as it tin can exist to scream in the middle of a crowded fraternity house at 2 a.m., there'southward no getting around the fact that the song begins like this:
I'll take y'all to the processed shop
I'll let you lick the lollipop
I'll post that again, in case you missed some of the nuance:
I'll take you to the processed shop
I'll allow you lick the lollipop
Way to take one for the squad, narrator of "Processed Shop"!
At beginning glance, "Candy Store" is nobody's idea of a classic love song.
The lyrics are ... unusually forward. The beat is kinda bones. The hook is like the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily by in "Homeland."
OooooOOOOoooooOOOo. GIF from "Homeland."
It doesn't become played much anymore. When it does resurface, it feels ... kinda dated. Like watching that DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" on your new Xbox 360.
It's not a song you'd put on a mixtape for your beat. Information technology's not a vocal y'all'd play for your spouse when the kids are at dwelling house with the babysitter and y'all've got nine hours to tear up the Piscataway Hampton Inn. It'south certainly not a song yous'd include on the video photo montage y'all made for your grandparents' silver anniversary.
It's just not.
But information technology should exist.
And so here it is. Hither's why "Candy Shop" past 50 Cent, featuring Olivia, is actually the perfect relationship song:
You wanna back that thing up or should I push up on information technology? Photo past ionasnicolae/Pixabay.
The bass pulsate hits. The MIDI violins whine. The singer starts filling out his fellatio permission slip. It's only been 20 seconds, and you're already getting prepare to hang it up with "Candy Shop."
But then ... over the square thrum and the mewling strings, a miracle occurs — in the form of a female person voice joining the track, cut through the din similar a clarion call.
She sings:
I'll take you lot to the candy store (yeah)
Male child, one taste of what I got (uh-huh)
I'll have you spendin' all you lot got (come on)
Proceed going 'til you lot hit the spot, whoa
It's mutual! It's mutual! They're performing oral sex on each other!
Ring the bells! Bang the drums! Release the doves!
Go, cunnilingus doves, become! Photo past liz west/Flickr.
fifty Cent himself may not be the earth'south greatest partner — for case, co-ordinate to 1 of his exes, he'south washed some pretty unforgivable things.
But the narrator of "Processed Shop"? He gets it:
You could have it your way, how do yous desire it?
Rather than simply imposing his desires on the person he's with — a la the dude in "God Only Knows ("I'g going to invest my unabridged sense of cocky-worth in you!") or the street heckler in "Treasure" ("I'grand going to care for you like a breast full of gold doubloons!") or the sociopath in "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You," ("I'grand going to trick you into knocking me upwardly!") — the "Candy Shop" guy actually asks his partner what she wants.
Which, in the earth of popular music, is practiced for most 50,000 trillion points.
And where are they going to do it? The hotel? Back of the rental? The embankment? The park?
It's whatever y'all're into
'Crusade consent is sexy!
I ain't finished teaching you 'tour how sprung I got ya
The narrator of "Processed Shop" is certainly ... assertive about his desires.
Merely here's the key affair: the lady on the receiving end of those desires? She'south clearly into information technology. And we know this because she says so.
The lines of consent in "Candy Shop" are bright scarlet, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly pasty social club floor.
Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is outside trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer. Photograph by Grim23/Wikimedia Commons.
Girl what we do ...
And where we do ...
The things we do ...
Are just between me and you lot
No matter how nasty they freak, information technology will be intimate. It will be individual. In that location will be no revenge porn (the epilogue to "Blurred Lines," to wit, would definitely be a protracted, emotionally devastating lawsuit).
If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho
Sexual compatibility is key to the survival of any relationship, whether years, weeks, or (very peradventure in the case of "Candy Shop") minutes long.
She may have a high sexual practice drive, but dude is graciously offering to adjust her. What a gentleman! These crazy kids merely might go the distance after all.
And at the end of the day, what is a relationship but two nymphos, sharing wellness insurance?
Thank you, Obamacare! Photo by Wonderlane/Flickr.
It's similar it'south a race who could get undressed quicker
Again, everybody is having a great time. And, critically, an equally great time.
I affect the right spot at the right time
Of course, it wouldn't be a pop/hip-hop hit without a spot of random braggadocio, only if we're to have him at his discussion, "Processed Shop" guy is at least as good at "doing everything right" as the bearding hitchhiker from "All I Wanna Do is Brand Love to You" — except without all the creepy surprise baby nonsense.
The "Candy Shop" guy is a keeper. Because he'due south non a hero or a stranger in the dark or a funky, shimmering dear god. He's a skilful partner.
"Candy Shop" is raunchy. It's dirty. It's not your grandmother'southward dear song.
But when you strip away the swagger, the back beat, and the weird strings from "Best of Public Domain Centre Eastern Music 1993," by the end of the song, both people are satisfied. And at the end of the mean solar day, isn't that what a salubrious relationship is all about?
Aye.
Uh-huh.
Photo by Francois Durand/Getty Images.
So seductive.
Source: https://www.upworthy.com/6-songs-that-seem-romantic-but-arent-and-one-that-seems-like-it-isnt-but-is
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